To Be Forgiven, We Must Forgive

"And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us...For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

These are some of the hardest words of Jesus for us to accept as Christians. They are difficult because it not only means forgiving our family and friends for minor offenses such as lying, breaking promises, or calling us names, it also means forgiving those we consider our enemies for offenses we consider outrageous and terribly sinful. It means that we no longer let their offense bother us no matter how wrong their action or behavior. It means considering themselves reconciled to us, even when it seems unfair. This seems especially difficult when we are asked if we must forgive Hitler or Bin Laden for their misdeeds. Let me assure you that forgiveness does not mean forgetting, or, if someone's offense is a crime, letting them off Scott free (who is Scott and why is he free anyways). If someone is killing people or molesting children, they need to go to prison for obvious reasons. Forgiveness is letting go of the hold another person's offense has on you. Lewis Smedes puts it this way, “You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

What we learn from the above words of Jesus is that in order to receive forgiveness, we must forgive the sins of others. He is very clear, if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. So what does forgiveness look like?

I am not going to address forgiveness for major crimes or criminals in this post because I do not think that is the most difficult area of forgiveness for Christians. I think the most difficult area of forgiveness for Christians is forgiving what we perceive to be sin, even minor sin, in other people. Premarital sex is no crime, but how difficult is it for us to forgive such an offense. If the Church finds out the youth pastor has been engaging in premarital sex with his fiance, he gets relieved of duty. Even though the plan is to for the couple to get married, and even when the youth pastor is repentant, we cannot forgive even though God does.

If we find out one of the ladies in our bible study has had an abortion, it is all over, she will be run out of that bible study so fast no one will know what happened. She may be feeling devastated about the abortion. She may be repentant every day and forgiven by God. But she is immediately and forever condemned by us.

If two women walk into the Church holding hands, we stare viciously at them and, like a scene from Forest Gump, tell them "this seat is taken," even though no one has sat in that pew for twenty years. (For those wondering, I continue in the idea that homosexuality is not a sin, and will continue to lead people to my post Is Homosexuality a Sin? as long as I am alive. But the majority of Christians will continue to think of homosexuality as a sin, and so I am speaking to them from their world-view). These women are forgiven of their sins by God, but not by the body of Christ.

We are told in Scripture that the gate to heaven is narrow. I do not think this is because of the vast amount of sinners there are in the world. I think it is because of the vast amount of grudges people hold. I think it is because even Christians are not willing to forgive people of their sins unless they are their own. I think a large amount of Christians will not enter into the kingdom of heaven because they are not willing to forgive people for what they perceive to be sin (not everything Christians condemn as "sin" are really sins in the Bible. Many churches consider long hair on women to be a sin, while other churches consider short hair on women to be a sin. Some churches consider smoking to be a sin. Some consider drinking alcohol to be a sin. None of these things are in fact sins in the Bible). If the Church continues in its lack of forgiveness, that gate will be much narrower than we ever thought.

Jesus commands us to be forgiving. This means that we will not let it bother us if a Christian is struggling with sin. Show me a Christian who is not struggling with sin. And if you come forward telling me about how above reproach your pastor is, my guess is he or she would be relieved of duty if his/her sins were found out. No Christian is free from sin...that is unless we practice forgiveness.

You see, Jesus died on the cross, he paid it all because our debt was too great to pay. The only way to sever our debt was to provide a way for that debt to be forgiven of us, instead of paid by us. And if God can forgive us of our sin, shouldn't our appreciation be shown by forgiving others of their sins. To illustrate this, Jesus tells this parable in response to a question from Peter in Matthew 18:

Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"
Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
"For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
"When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
"But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.
"So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.'
"And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.
"But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, 'Pay back what you owe.'
"So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you.'
"But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
"So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.
"Then summoning him, his lord said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?'
And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart."

It is obvious in this parable that the lord of the servant represents God. The amount of time it would have taken the servant to work in order to pay back the debt would have been 130,000 years, according to David Jeremiah in Prayer, The Great Adventure. In other words, this debt was impossible for him to pay off. And yet the lord forgave it. Because of his great generosity, it was expected that the servant would have shown this same kind of generosity. But instead he threw a fellow servant in prison for a debt that would have taken a few months of work to pay back. The moral of this story is that the sin God forgives in us, is greater than any sin we will ever have to forgive in another. God asks that we show the same generosity for lesser debt that he showed us for an impossible debt to pay back.

What this means for us today is that when we see someone entering our church who we perceive to be a sinner (whether their behavior is actually sin or not) we must treat them as forgiven members of the body of Christ, just like we are. In other words, God forgives and forgets their sin, counting them innocent and guiltless; therefore we should as well. Whether a person is gay or straight, has had an abortion or not, has engaged in premarital sex or not, they are no longer considered sinners before God; they should therefore no longer be condemned by us.

Finally, this means that those of us who experience harsh judgment and criticism from the Church, as difficult as it may be, must learn to forgive also. Part of the healing for those of you in the LGBT community and for those who have had abortions or are part of other communities that Christians judge and condemn, is to let go of the hurt caused by forgiving those who persecute us. As always, know that Jesus loves you and I love you.

Please enjoy the video below which was made by Intersections International as part of a movement they are calling Believe Out Loud. I think you will like it.
Blessings,
-Brandon

How Can the "Judged" Respond to the Church

I have spoken frequently about how the Church should respond to certain situations and certain groups, but I have yet to speak on how certain groups should respond to the Church. As much as we try to advocate for marginalized groups and attempt to reform the Church to return to its Biblical roots in Jesus Christ, the fact is many churches (and many Christians) will not respond to reform and will continue to act according to prejudice and bias. This is to be expected for, as the saying goes, “a leopard cannot change its spots.” I am not saying this to justify the Church’s (or individual Christian’s) behavior, and I am certainly not throwing in the towel and giving up on Church reform. The vote by the Presbyterian church a couple of days ago, allowing for the ordination of gay men and women, is a huge step forward and shows that reform is possible. But it is difficult and can take many years for broad reform to occur. In the meantime, what are those who are typically marginalized by the Church to do in response to condemnation and criticism? How is the gay man or woman to respond to an unwelcoming Church? How is the woman who has had an abortion to respond to a judgmental Christian? How is the tattooed, ripped jeans, twenty-something to respond to the turns of the head he receives when he walks through the church doors?

First and foremost, it is important to remember that these attitudes you experience coming from “Christians” and coming from the Church are not representative of Christ. Jesus’ desire was to still the fear and trepidation people had when coming into God’s presence. Before Jesus came, only the High Priest was allowed to enter into God’s presence in the Holy of Holies. He was only allowed to do this once a year, on the Day of Atonement, and he had to go through a special ceremony in order to come before the Creator. Coming into God’s presence was an extremely terrifying thing, and it was reserved only for the select few. Jesus wanted to put an end to this, and so he came, and he opened the doors to the kingdom of heaven for all of humankind. Jesus’ big complaint against the religious leaders (the Pharisees) of his day, was that they shut the doors to the kingdom of heaven on many of the people. So when you encounter these judgmental attitudes from people in the Church, know that they are being representative of the Pharisees and not of Jesus.

Second, pray consistently that God will help you to truly feel the grace and acceptance you have in Jesus Christ. If you have first-hand experience of that acceptance from Jesus Christ, the judgment and condemnation you experience from others will not sting as much. It may well still sting, but knowing that they are not representing Christ, and truly knowing the acceptance you really do have in Jesus, you will not experience the sting to the severity you would without such knowledge.

Third, pray for those who judge you. Jesus says to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). This is certainly not an easy task and one that will require a lot of spiritual discipline on our parts. But I strongly believe in the power of prayer and believe that if we devote ourselves to praying for those who marginalize us (especially those in the Church) God really will work in their lives and will transform their hearts. Remember, as terrible as those “Christians” may be sometimes, it is wrong for us to wish harm on them, and if we can win them over through love and prayer, it will be a victory for us. I have not always believed as I am currently blogging. I used to be one of those that heaped loads of judgment on people such as those in the LGBT community. One of my constant prayers was that God would continue to help me grow and to learn his will and his love more and more. Through constant prayer and study, I was finally won over to understand God’s love and acceptance for all people.

Fourth, be loving and gentle towards those who persecute you. Before I expand on this statement, let me say that I believe whole heartedly in self-defense if those persecuting you are being physically abusive. I do not believe Jesus’ admonition to “turn the other cheek” applies to physical violence. So know that I am not saying to stand there and take a beating if that is what is happening. Instead, if your physical well-being is in danger, get out of there if at all possible, and if not, fight for your life. With that said, I do believe Jesus’ admonition to “turn the other cheek” is related to non-physical attacks. Remember, Jesus liked to speak in hyperbole. When your “honor” or your “pride” is being attacked, do your best to show the attacker love and acceptance, being gentle with them, and showing them the true nature of Jesus. If someone is calling you names or heaping words of judgment on you, do not attack back. This simply adds fuel to the fire. The best means of disarming a person is to be gentle and loving towards them. They will not want to fight back. All arguing back at them is going to do, is increase the tension and increase the anger in both you and them.

Finally, if it is at all reasonable, use the Matthew 18 principle on them. If the Church or a believer is being unChrist-like toward you, approach the offender in privacy (remembering to be safe and not placing yourself in a dangerous situation) and tell them of their offence. If they will not listen, bring one or two witnesses. If they still will not listen, go to the Church itself, the governing authority, and let them know of the offence. If the matter does not get resolved, consider the person or the Church to be outside of God’s will and direction, and move on to another church.

There are plenty of good churches out there that are aligned with God’s will and that will accept you for who you are. Do not characterize Christianity based on these fallen churches. Find Christians who genuinely represent the character of Christ and show acceptance and love to all people; they are out there, I promise. Find churches that embody these characteristics of Christ. Know that Jesus loves you and I love you.
Blessings,
-Brandon

Jesus' Response to Abortion

Yesterday I posted about the need to permit homosexuals into leadership positions within the Church. It was announced last night that the Presbyterian Church voted in favor of allowing gays to be ordained as ministers. This is a huge step forward for the Church and a move I greatly applaud. Today I turn my attention to another topic, and one as equally controversial: abortion.

The reader may be surprised to discover that I hold with the traditional view of the Church on this matter and consider abortion to be a sin. I believe life begins at conception, and that abortion is therefore the needless taking of a human life. But the two sentences I just wrote on the sinfulness of abortion is the extent to which I will discuss it being a sin. This is because I do not believe it is helpful to label a person a sinner. And no matter how much we try to separate the sin from the sinner, the "sinner" will always feel guilty when having their "sin" waved in front of their face. To label an action a "sin" and to make a person feel like a sinner places them in a category hard to escape. Sometimes we make something so by calling it so. To make someone a sinner, when Jesus already wiped away their sins, is a regression. Therefore, instead of calling a sin a "sin" or a sinner a "sinner," I think it is more helpful for Christians to recognize the hurt a person is feeling, to have compassion on them, and to act accordingly.

I wanted to turn to the topic of abortion because I wanted to show how the Church has responded badly to sin. I have shown that homosexuality is not a sin in my article Is Homosexuality a Sin? so it may be the case that my related posts about how we should treat the LGBT community may be related to my view that they are not living in sin. But my views on the Church's response to gays would be the same whether I thought homosexuality was a sin or not. Therefore I am turning to the topic of abortion to give an example of how I think the Church needs to change its interactions with what is, in my view, sinful.

Let me give a story that can be found in David Kinnaman's book UnChristian to illustrate what I believe is the traditional Christian response to the issue of abortion. He tells of a woman, Lisa, who went to a Christian event and was sitting with some of her Christian friends at a table discussing the topic of pregnancy. At one point Lisa brought up that she had a friend who was pregnant and really going through a rough time. Her boyfriend left her and there were some other things going on in her life. When Lisa told them that her friend was contemplating abortion and that she, herself, could empathize with her, the group Lisa was with turned on her. They condemned the friend for wanting an abortion and condemned Lisa for her empathy. Lisa was left out of the conversation for the rest of the event. Lisa had not even told them that she had an abortion earlier in life. These women did not show the slightest compassion or love toward Lisa. Instead, they showed judgment which (not to mention the burden placed on Lisa’s friend) placed the impossible burden on Lisa of feeling more condemned than she already had for her abortion. She had already had an abortion and there was nothing she could do about it. And without knowing what Lisa’s background might be, they showed no sensitivity at all, and placed Lisa immediately in a category out of which she could not now get; the category of the condemned, the judged, the hated, the abortion lover. All this kind of response does is repel people from Jesus.

The women in the above story could not focus on the hurt Lisa might be feeling or the hurt her friend might be feeling; all they could focus on was the sin. This prevented them from truly connecting with Lisa and from helping her. Instead of creating a bridge to Jesus, these women built a wall blocking Lisa from Jesus.

Now let's look at two examples from the life of Jesus to give a model for the Church today. The first example comes from John 4 where Jesus confronts the Samaritan woman at the well. What is remarkable about this story is that Jesus shows his willingness and desire to build bridges and break down barriers, as opposed to the religious leaders of the time who wanted to divide people and build walls. The first thing about this story that catches the readers eye is that Jesus, a Jew, has no qualms about socializing with a Samaritan. The Jews and the Samaritans hated each other and would have no interaction with each other unless it was to the bloody death (this is why the story of the good Samaritan, where Jesus makes a Samaritan the hero of the story, is such a remarkable story). Not only this, but Jesus was not at all put off by the fact that this woman was seemingly the town slut. As a matter of fact, Jesus did not seem to care too much to develop relationships with people viewed by the culture as "righteous." It was to those viewed as the worst of sinners that Jesus typically spent time with. When Jesus revealed to the woman that he was knowledgeable of her sordid past, she was shocked. I think a lot of her shock had to do with the fact that the Messiah would sit and talk, and love and accept her, knowing what kind of person she was. It did not matter to Jesus that this woman was "sleeping around." Instead, Jesus knew this woman's hurt and the pain she experienced. Jesus knew the daily struggles this woman dealt with. Jesus could look passed the "sin" and see the woman behind the sin, and he had compassion on her.

The second example is one of my favorites and comes from John 8. In this story the scribes and Pharisees caught a woman in adultery and, in order to trap Jesus, reminded him that the law of Moses commanded that she should be put to death and asked him what he thought should be done with her. Jesus famously replies, "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." All of them, one by one, left the scene, leaving the woman alone with Jesus. When Jesus looked up and discovered that none of the men had condemned her, Jesus replied, "then I do not condemn you either." Jesus showed no condemnation for "sinners." Jesus only showed love and acceptance. He did this because he knew that people did not sin out of hatred for God or because they were rebellious. He knew that people sin because of hurts they experience in their lives and that if they felt the love and acceptance that he offered, that they would have the strength to overcome their sins.

Today we are acting like Pharisees, dragging those who have had or are considering having abortions to the feet of Jesus and telling him that the Bible condemns such a thing and commands capital punishment for such behavior. We do this with all kinds of sins (or even behavior we consider to be sin though it may not be) and neglect to see these examples in Scripture of how Jesus fought against such responses to sin. As the Church, as the body of Christ, we are called to bring loving acceptance and compassion to the world which is hurting. We are called to respond to abortion not with protest signs or abortion clinic bombings, or even with a cold shoulder. We are called to respond to abortion with the same kind of compassion Jesus had for the Samaritan woman and the adulteress woman. We are called to respond to abortion by showing love and acceptance to those women who have had or are considering having abortions. This is what Jesus did.
Blessings,
-Brandon