Dealing with Devastation

There is no escaping devastation in life.  Divorce, job loss, death in the family, and natural disasters destroying our property are just some of the things we face on a regular basis.  No one is immune from devastation in life.  

People deal with devastation in different ways.  Some people allow a specific amount of time to feel upset, and then move on.  Some people wallow in self-pity and resentment, and live that way for years, even their entire lives.  Some people remain stoic, though God knows what is going on inside of them.  

I had a job interview three weeks ago.  When I left the interview I felt like I found my dream job.  I felt like I found my calling, and I was so excited.  I grew even more excited when I got a call just a few hours after the interview asking me for a second interview.  Every day I grew more and more excited about this job.  I had my second interview, and got an email minutes after it ended asking me to send in a writing sample.  Later that afternoon I was asked for references.  This job was mine.  I prayed about it, I practiced positive thinking for the first time in my whole life, and did not even allow the thought of rejection to enter my mind.  I practiced the "Attractor Factor", a book written by Joe Vitale discussing how people tend to attract what their minds focus on.  I focused on the verse, and practiced it that says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  Psalm 37:4. There was no doubt in my mind that I would get this job.  Then I got the call that I was one of two candidates, that they were impressed with me, but they went with the other candidate who had just a bit more experience in the field than I did.  I was devastated.

I went home from work that night and just wanted to sleep.  I sulked some the next day.  I was confused about everything.  Why would God not follow through on his side of the Psalm 37:4 promise?  How could I follow all the practices of positive thinking and attracting, and not get this job?  After some thinking it came to me.  God has something better planned for me.

I created an idealized version of the job in my mind based on my interactions with the interviewers at this job.  It was that idealized version I fell in love with and thought was mine.  But the desire of my heart was not for that particular job.  My heart desired (and still desires) a job that I love, where I feel respected and feel like I am contributing something, a job that will provide a safe and secure financial situation for my family, and a job that I really feel passionate about.  Maybe this job I interviewed for was not that.  Maybe the job I interviewed for would have been worse than the one I am currently in. God sees all things, and when we are devastated by something, he has something good for us right around the corner.

Four and a half years ago I had just moved to Wisconsin with my wife.  I was working a job and we put a down payment on a house that we were really excited about.  A week before we closed on the house I lost my job and the mortgage company withdrew its loan approval.  My very pregnant wife and I were devastated.  At that time we were living in a hotel room with our almost two year old and our yellow lab.  We eventually rented a house, which was okay for what it was worth, but it was never home.  Two years later we were able to get pre-approved for another mortgage, and this time bought a house with much more of what we wanted in a house, and we are so much happier there than we ever would have been at the house that fell through (the house we lost out on didn't have a dishwasher.  What were we thinking?).  We were devastated when we lost the first house, but God had a better one planned for us (with a dishwasher!)

A couple of years after my wife and were first married, we wanted to start a family.  We experienced two miscarriages that were absolutely devastating.  The second miscarriage shook my faith to the core, and I think I am just now getting my faith in God back.  I was in a dark place for years, and we thought we would never be able to have children.  Then in 2012 we had our little miracle baby.  In 2014 we had another sweet baby girl.  In 2018 we had a third.  We are still sad about the two we lost. I think about those babies that could have been.  On the other hand, I realize I have been blessed by three amazing daughters who I would not trade for the world.  I am so blessed to have them.  

One final story.  In 2001 I was fired from a job just weeks before my parents were going to move farther south.  I did not want to move.  I lined up an interview, but on my way there I rolled my car. All of the events I experienced forced me to move with my parents.  For the first year I was in a deep depression.  I slowly came out of it, but still was not happy I had my life disrupted.  As it turns out we moved just blocks away from a college campus that had a graduate program starting the fall after I received my undergraduate degree, that was just what I was looking for.  Four years after moving with my parents, I met my future wife.  I found my first calling in hospice because of the move.  It turned out to be what was best for me.

Like children we often go through life kicking and screaming because we want something, and we don't get it.  I think about the times I upset my children by telling them they can't go outside in a t-shirt when it is 10 degrees out, and the devastation they seem to experience.  They think they know what is best for them, but they really don't.  I know what is best for them.  When I did not get the job I so desperately wanted and thought was mine for the taking, God was telling me not to go out in 10 degree weather with just a t-shirt.  Every devastating event I have experienced has been redeemed by beautiful things occurring that might not otherwise have occurred.  Steve Jobs once said we do not understand things at the time they are happening, but we connect the dots afterwards.  In other words, seemingly unrelated events, some good, some bad, occur in our lives.  These events shape us, and the bad events are connected to the positive that does eventually happen in our lives.  So I am choosing to put my faith in God, and know He has a better plan for my future.

Love Your Enemies

Jesus taught that we should love our enemies and pray for them.  He taught we should turn the other cheek.  Jesus practiced this to the extreme when he allowed himself killed by his enemies and prayed for their forgiveness at the very moment they were killing him on the cross.  How difficult we have found it to practice this in our own lives.

The political atmosphere today is a perfect example of how we fall short of this everyday.  I used to pay close attention to the news, and prided myself in my knowledge of current affairs.  The divisiveness of the 2016 presidential campaign turned me away from the news and social media.  I could not tolerate all of the hate and negativity I read on a daily basis coming from both sides of the political aisle.  It is as bad two years later.  

I, for one, find it easy to love those "enemies" of mine I have no personal contact with.  Whether it's politicians, celebrities, or facebook friends who I disagree with, or people who are blatant opponents of mine, if I have no personal connection to them I have no problem praying for them and turning my other cheek.  However, when it comes to people I have direct contact with on a regular basis, I have a very hard time turning the other cheek.

There is a person in my life with whom I have had a very adversarial professional relationship.  I have felt unjustly criticized by this person.  Frankly, this person has never liked me much.  Sometimes no matter what we do, there are people we encounter who we just rub the wrong way.  I have done what I could to keep this relationship amicable, but it is now at a point I can no longer continue my relationship with this person.  

I keep thinking of all the possible scenarios that might result when I tell this person I am breaking off our professional relationship.  I imagine how good it would feel to tell this person off to his face.  I imagine the nasty things he might say to me, and how I might give back a stinging retort.  There is a lot I could say to him to call him out on his hypocrisy and unjustified criticism.  But what good would that do?

It might make me feel good for a short period of time to be nasty to him for once.  But in reality, it would not serve him or me good in any way.  He will not change or apologize because of my criticism of him.  It would do nothing but lower me to his level.  How much better would I feel leaving as the better man?  I will break off our professional relationship by thanking him for all he has given me during our professional relationship.  I will shake his hand.  I will do everything on my part to live up to the call of Jesus to love our enemies, to turn the other cheek, and to pray for him.  I will wish him well.  I will be the better man.

The Gospel of Mark According to Me

I started a project today translating the Bible be more understandable for the contemporary audience, while also trying to portray more scientific accuracy and provide a more accurate meaning of certain passages.  I also provide some notes in passages I feel need some explanation.  I intend to do this with all of the Gospels at the very least, and will publish the four Gospels from my translation.  I do not pretend that my translation is in any way inspired by God or that my translation is intended to replace more authorized versions of the Gospels.  At best my translation is a paraphrase, intended for purposes of making the Gospels clearer to a contemporary audience.  I hope you enjoy.  Below is the first chapter of Mark according to the translation of Brandon Parks.

1:1 The beginning of the good news of Jesus, the chosen one, the Son of God; 

1:2 As it is written in the prophets, take notice, I send my messenger before you, and he will prepare the world for your arrival.

1:3 The voice of one calling out in the desert, Prepare the way of the Lord, make his path straight.

1:4 John baptized in the desert, and preached the baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of our failings.

1:5 And everyone from the land of Judaea, and from Jerusalem, travelled to see John, and were all baptized by him in the Jordan River, confessing their imperfections.

1:6 And John dressed in camel's hair, with underwear of animal skin; and he ate locusts and wild honey; 

1:7 And preached, saying, One is coming after me who is greater than me, whose shoes I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose.

1:8 I indeed have baptized you with water: but he shall baptize you with his own Spirit. (Meaning Jesus will fill you with his Spirit that will clean you any failings.  See Psalm 51:10-12.).

1:9 And it came to pass in those days, that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized by John in the Jordan River.

1:10 And immediately coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him: 

1:11 And there came a voice from heaven, saying, You are my beloved Son. I am very proud of You.

1:12 And immediately the Spirit led Jesus to pursue solitude in the desert. 

1:13 And he spent forty days in the desert, struggling with temptation; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels took care of him.

1:14 John was put in prison, and Jesus went to Galilee, preaching the good news of God’s perfect government, 

1:15 And saying, The time has come, and God’s perfect government has arrived: turn to God, and believe the good news.

1:16 Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishermen.

1:17 And Jesus said to them, Come with me, and I will make you fish for men.

1:18 And immediately they abandoned their nets, and went with him.

1:19 And when he had gone a little farther, he saw James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, who also were in the ship fixing their nets.

1:20 And immediately he called them: and they left their father Zebedee in the ship with the hired servants, and went with him.

1:21 And they went into Capernaum; and immediately on the sabbath day he entered the synagogue, and taught.

1:22 And they were amazed at his teaching: for he taught them as one with authority and personal knowledge, and not as the teachers of the day.

1:23 And there was a man in their synagogue who was sick and misunderstood (likely someone with paranoid schizophrenia); and he cried out, 

1:24 Saying, Leave us alone; what have we to do with you, Jesus of Nazareth? Are you here to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.

1:25 And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Be quiet, and leave him.

1:26 And when the illness hurt him, and the man cried with a loud voice, the man was cured of his illness.

1:27 And they were all amazed, and questioned among themselves, saying, What is this? what new doctrine is this? For with authority Jesus commands even sickness, and even ailments obey him.

1:28 And immediately his fame spread throughout all the region around Galilee.

1:29 And immediately after leaving the synagogue, they went into the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John.

1:30 But Simon's mother-in-law lay sick of a fever, and soon they told Jesus of her.

1:31 And he came and took her by the hand, and lifted her up; and immediately the fever left her, and she waited on them.

1:32 And in the evening, when the sun had set, they brought to Jesus everyone who was sick, (the original said “and those possessed of demons.” To reflect our knowledge today, I have removed that phrase as those “possessed with demons” likely had illnesses the people of the time were unfamiliar with).

1:33 And everyone from the city was crowding the door.

1:34 And Jesus healed many that were sick of diverse diseases; and asked that no one speak of him being the Son of God.

1:35 And in the morning, waking up before dawn, Jesus went out, and found a solitary place where he prayed.

1:36 And Simon and they that were with him followed him.

1:37 And when they had found him, they said, Everyone is looking for you.

1:38 And he said to them, Let us go into the next towns, so I may preach there also: for that is why I came here.

1:39 And he preached in their synagogues throughout all Galilee, and Healed those who were sick.

1:40 And a leper came to him, begging him, and kneeling down to him, saying, If you want, you are able to heal me.

1:41 And Jesus, feeling immense compassion for this man, put forth his hand, and touched him, saying to him, I will; be clean.  (Note: at this time touching a leper made a person unclean.  This man likely had not experienced a loving human touch for many years.  Jesus showed that a person does not become unclean for touching someone, but that by touching someone who is unclean, we can make that person clean).

1:42 And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was clean.

1:43 And Jesus immediately charged him, and then sent him away; 

1:44 And said unto him, Make sure to say nothing to any man: but go right away and show yourself to the priest, and offer for your cleansing those things which Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.

1:45 But he went out, and began to tell everyone who would listen, and to spread everywhere the details of his healing, so much so that Jesus could no longer openly enter the city, but was outside the city in desert places: and they came to him from every quarter.